Cookbooks should be my favorite thing.


        A. I love food
        B. I love Books
       C. I love to cook.
I should love cookbooks. They sound great, in theory. They are beautiful and make me want to whisk things or flambé. I picture my dream kitchen with two Étagère’s flanking my Banquet stacked w/my Cookbook collection. I look at them and imagine the Christmas Brunch, ladies tea, or Summer BBQ made perfect w/my new found recipe. I have never hosted any of these events but I imagine them.

Here’s the thing. I don’t follow directions. I am a throw it all in, know –my- recipes by heart cook. Following recipes just isn’t my strong suit. I lose focus, my flea-size attention span gives on me, I start to cut corners and before I know it I’m up to my ass in a project I have no desire to finish. I am over ambitious and delusional. I look at something Martha Stewart-esque and think “that is AMAZING!” and then my delusions surface and I think “I can totally do that”. I don’t stop to consider my unfocused, flea-sized attention span, corner cutting predisposition. Or that I’m kind of a spas. I once opened the oven and had fire shoot out and singe off the parts of my eyebrows peaking above my glasses. Honest. I am a cook with good intentions, but bad luck

That’s the back story.

Have you ever heard of reciprocity?

rec•i•proc•i•ty Pronunciation: \ˌre-sə-ˈprä-s(ə-)tē\ Function: noun
"...The social norm of reciprocity is the expectation that people will respond to each other in similar ways -- responding to gifts and kindnesses from others with similar benevolence of their own."

In other words my excellent gift giving came back to bite me in the ass. I received a copy of Martha Stewart’s Cooking School for Christmas. It’s just like the one I gave my friend for her birthday. She’s probably tired of Martha Stewart making her feel bad about herself and is giving it back.

I look at this book and think I want to master meringues. I realize I’m cooking eggs all wrong. Martha does things w/meat I’m oblivious to. I’m excited. I’m making lists, tabbing pages, strategizing and letting my delusions run amok. Amok. Amok. Amok. Did I mention I once set my eyebrows on fire?

However, it’s a New Year I’m a grown up now, and grown ups finish projects and read instructions. I took Home Ec. in junior high. I have a double sink, ample counter space and ramekins. I should be able to do this.

I can totally do this. I am starting w/soups, stews, roasted meats and of course meringues.

Here is another R word re•cid•i•vism

Pronunciation: \ri-ˈsi-də-ˌvi-zəm\ Function: noun
" a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially : relapse into criminal behavior."